Shadow in the Ubiquitous Light

Shadow angel

A shadow in the Ubiquitous Light—
Luminiferous immemorial.
But where I once stood wide-eyed
My eyes now contract,
Unfamiliar with the purging brightness.

A shadow in the Ubiquitous Light,
Shifting dubiously—not without shame—
For this light that once consoled
Is now foreign in this dark mind;
For profligacy abounds unrestrained.

A shadow in the Ubiquitous Light
Forgets all peace of mind,
Constrained by the throes of transience,
With each intermittence growing in pain
As hollow tears threaten these lungs.

Wafting through trails of memories long past,
Turning my head from piercing eyes;
Woe if they should contrive the truth:
That I am the lost and wandering—
A shadow in the Ubiquitous Light.

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Mistress of Erebus

Nyx

You came to me
In the black of the night:
Mistress of Erebus,
Broken and bleeding
With those eyes so red.
I had fancied you an angel,
Yet you deigned to look to me,
To seek solace in my words.
Alas, I was a myth
You had built up in your head:
Nothing real, no savior
To enlighten you or drag you
From the blackness that has consumed you
And racked you with guilt,
Forcing you to wear a mask
You think the world wants you to wear;
Despite all that, you showed me the real you—
The one so few have seen—
The side fractured but beautiful all the same.
No doubt it was to your chagrin
You discovered I am no god
Or sage to vanquish your troubles
And erase your sorrows;
I am but a man
In the presence of a goddess,
And even though I have failed you,
Had only a fraction of time in the universe
To hold you,
I love you.

A Betrayed’s Lament

 

 

 

falling_sketch_by_claralieu-d60h5nj

Sketch by claralieu

You bring out the worst in me:
That darkness I’ve struggled so hard to suppress.
I didn’t realize it until today,
Staring at meaningless words
On an artificial screen,
Trying to capture the essence
Of everything I feel for you,
Everything I’ve felt.
It has all unraveled before my eyes,
And the person I thought made me strongest
Through nothing but a smile and presence
Has allied with my worst enemy
To deceive me, trick me,
And eviscerate my emotions.
It is the words you speak,
Melting the coldness of my soul,
Because they are exactly what I yearn for;
But without action they mean nothing,
And you would not lift a finger,
Even if it meant I fell to my death.
You have killed me, you know;
And in the jowls of Tartarus
I languish in my solitude,
Wondering if Hades deems this justice
Or, like you, if he just doesn’t care.

Within the Shadow

Shadow of the Colossus artwork

Another one down;
Another one to surmount the guilt.
In this field of giants, what am I but a speck?
I am a plague, a darkness upon this forbidden land,
Rife with abominations,
But when the corpses mount the pile,
I am a titan among insects.

Hear me! father of the land:
I never wished for this fate.
With each transgression committed
I see myself more and more a beast,
An occupant of the greatest evil;
But if you come for me, beware:
I am the slayer of monoliths.

Is this a boast?
No!
With each stab I feel my heart flutter,
Panged as though I were piercing myself.
These ululations of lament transmute,
Become tirades of anger and self-deprecation,
And though salvation may be won in the end,
Forgiveness is far beyond me.

In this silent prison—
This empty haven—
The beauty brings me to my knees,
Prayerful before the cursed altars,
Trembling for fear of the unknown:
The next monumental conflict—
An epic struggle.

There is no one to share the pain,
No one to comprehend the strife within;
Just my soul and a spurned god
And a cadaver awaiting resurrection.
Alone I embark, alone I succeed,
Alone I witness the horrors wrought by my hand
And the tragedies left in their wake.

But of all the atrocities enacted,
Yours, my fathers, were the worst.
And so to cast blame,
Only gaze into these hallowed pools
And witness the ripples of reflection.
For as much as I abhor what I’ve done,
I would herald the death of a thousand guardians
To undo the blessing bestowed for your sacrifice,
And see this dead beauty walk again.

*Special thanks to Fumito Ueda and his masterpiece for the inspiration for this writing