Groom of Eris

Death skeleton

“This isn’t real,” the voice says,
Whispering through the ether of darkness:
A black void that occupies my mind.
It is without form this voice speaks,
No consciousness but my own
To sustain its malevolence,
Subsisting entirely on my paranoia
Because I don’t know how to exist
Free of the anxiety born from my insecurity.
Would I slay this love before it even flourishes
Because of the ramblings of a nonexistent madman?
Reality has offered nothing but assurance
And a smile now etched into my memory,
But I would lay waste to it within the fabrication
Of the personal hell that resides inside my mental bastille,
And shout aspersions into the vacuum of space
To mollify the injustice of this war I wage
On the innocents I intend to sacrifice
To this god of death and despair
Who rules my perverse dominion with a pale hand.
While in rationality I accept
Every word I hear is insanity—
A plea from a deity losing his power—
I still listen when he says, “This will never last.”
And god help me, I’m beginning to believe it.



Alone in the world

Artist: Gabriel Maurano

The panic sets in:
My breaths stifle
As if someone is standing on my lungs;
My bones tremble
As though frozen to the marrow;
My heart beats faster
As if it at any second it will burst.
Everything within me
Tells me to run,
To lash out, to scream,
To point a finger,
To lay blame,
So that I might be vindicated;
But in truth, I know
There is not always someone to blame,
There is not always wrongdoing,
And though the knowledge
Does not assuage the pain,
Resorting to hatred
Will only fester more distance.
The panic sets in,
Just like it has before,
Just like it will again,
And standing aghast
In the face of this dread—
This insurmountable loneliness—
I will defy these machinations
That have warped my mind
And, never reaping reward,
I will still prove that I’m something more
Than anything you’ve seen before.