Stepping Stone


I love this arrangement you have manipulated me into,
Because everyone needs a stone to step on,
A foothold when they’re about to fall,
And I cannot thank you enough for making me yours.
The weight of your foot upon my skull
Is something I certainly yearn for and do not resent;
Being used for your convenience—
And being ignored and discarded when it’s not convenient—
Is the fulfillment of a lifelong dream.
What a marvel that you ascertained my ambitions
Without me uttering a single word to you!
The truth is that you are a user,
Wielding the armaments you possess to strike,
Felling those who would not fit into your hierarchy,
And trampling upon their remains.
You had no right to ever touch me—
To even lay a finger on me—
But you sunk your entire body into mine
Without word or even a trivial glance
And only the shallowest apology as you continued,
As though I were inanimate.
Blame the drink, blame the cheater,
Whatever you need to do so you feel better,
If you even remember inflicting the wounds at all;
But by whatever god holds dominion over our lives,
Do not speak to me again, do not take a step
Believing I will be there for you to trod upon,
Because you will receive only silence
And find yourself plummeting to the bottom of a hole,
Where I hope in darkness you will see what you are,
And what you have wrought upon me,
And never be able to climb out.


Black Magick and Condemnations


I know your dirty little secret,
If it can even be called that,
Since you’re a piss-poor liar—
Or you just didn’t try to hide it.
And I don’t know what’s more insulting:
The act itself;
Or the implication of my stupidity,
As though I would sit with a sewn mouth
And open legs,
Acting as a husk for you to fuck
Whenever your extracurriculars grow stale,
And being the archetype of your normalcy,
The trophy of your Christian life.
But I’m not your American Dream,
Your something old
In between your somethings new,
Your somethings borrowed,
And I sure as hell won’t let you
Beat my soul into your something blue.
You’ve already taken more than you deserve,
So I won’t even give you what you’re owed;
Instead, I’ll just immortalize you
In words you can’t erase,
In sentiments you can’t vanquish,
And enchantments you can’t dispel;
My justice will be exacted
In black magick and condemnation,
And you will realize all too late
That you are accursed, exiled as you are
From the presence of God.

You Will Never be Janne Olsson


Artwork by Darkcristal

When will your apocalypse arrive?
I await the day you breathe your last,
Counting the days with the links of this chain
You have bound me with
To keep me in your sight,
Bent to your will,
And obeisant to your whims.
You are a savage,
Butchering my esteem with your words,
Sharper than the blade of an axe,
Splitting my sanity in two,
And preying on the fringes
Until you infect my thoughts like a parasite,
Forcing me to question everything I am
And everything I’m worth.
You’re an emotional vampire,
Sucking the life out of my soul
So that I am left a husk,
Numb to feeling except despair.
I pray that each teardrop from my eyes
Is a sin you must atone for,
And that you will drown in their acrimony
For the punishment you have sentenced me to
For daring to stand on my feet.
You have kept me frozen here
So that I cannot move forward,
Cannot break free of your tyranny,
Because my misery is the last sliver of joy you have;
But on that day—your apocalypse—
I will finally take my first step forward
And leave you to memory,
Insignificant to history,
Unknown to the world,
And forgotten by me.

Epics and Tragedies

Teddy bear park

With the love we shared,
The ambition we possessed,
And the future we craved,
We were authoring
Our own personal epic,
But you have become a tragedy;
And make no mistake:
A tragedy is not some love story
Where a man gives his life for his lover
And through selflessness is redeemed.
There is no salvation in tragedy,
No hope or beauty;
It is ugly, ending in the ruin of a soul.
You have buried everything that is best about you
Beneath a life of recurring habit
And the company of the wretched,
Who would use your gifts
To sap the light from your spirit
And somehow leave you craving more of their abuse.
You were given the love you deserve,
But in the face of happiness
You offered only repudiation.
I know not why, but I cannot stand by,
Watching you destroy your potential,
Your brilliance;
And if this is the life you choose,
You will end up as alone as you think you are now.
You will not have my comfort or kindness—
Which you claim to cherish so deeply—
Or the solace of true friendship;
You will only have a barren future,
Razed by your search for instant gratification
And your unconditional disbelief
That you can rise above these tribulations.
I hope to god this is not your fate,
But it’s out of my hands,
And soon, I fear, out of my sight.