Nature of the Soul

Soul

It is the great lie of our existence: that we possess a soul,
When the truth is that the soul possesses us.
By its very nature it cannot be contained, cannot be denied its nature;
And like the imprint of a brand our souls expand beyond ourselves,
Imprinting a piece of us onto others: those we meet, those we touch—
Friends, enemies, lovers, strangers.
We cannot remove our souls from others and cannot remove theirs from us.

In this ephemeral form of existence we can never be alone,
And despite emotion or thought we always matter,
We always impress, we always affect;
So you may go where you will—to another time or universe,
But I have touched you and I have loved you,
So you will be no more rid of me than I will you,
And this is the only truth of existence that matters.

Advertisements

The Coward’s Mistress

Water Teardrop Droplet Drop Aqua

Resigned to her fate, struggle futile: the coward’s mistress.
Forlorn she looks upon the crest of his infidelity,
Invisible to the naked eye, she sees with her third,
Though she is wont to deny it—shield to protect her sanity;

But no esteem to speak of:
It has been whored out to the undeserving,
Dragons’ claws that twine unto abolishment.
In the aftermath, no wake or funeral to concede mourning.

In this vessel of corporeal security and emotional peril
Eyes linger upon the waters, a sea of grief,
Stretching as far as the eye can see, and she knows
There is no harbor to offer escape.

She adds her own tear to the sea.

Thoughts and Wonderings of a Lonely Fuck

staring-at-the-ceiling

“Sometimes I think I just want to be miserable.”

That was the thought that crossed my mind when I finished,
And I just lie there in the bed, staring up at an unfamiliar ceiling
Remembering that this is not where I want to be,
And despite my despair-induced decision to be here,
It’s a poor substitute for my desired destination.

Not only has this become my own routine, personal hell,
But when I look to my side and see that faceless smile—
Unidentifiable outside this cocoon of languish and self-afflicted torment I’ve spun—
I recall the peril I’m putting another person’s happiness in,
And then I just realize I’m a shitty person doing even shittier things.

It’s in these moments that I wonder if my choice was the catalyst or the result:
Did I let you slip away because I believed I didn’t deserve you?
Or have I become said shitty person because I let you slip away?
It’s the great mystery of my life, one I’m sure I’ll never solve;
And anyway, you seem to be getting along much better without me.

. . .

Yeah, I think I just want to be miserable.

To Raava, My Life

Korra Raava

Hello, Raava, center of my soul.
I know we spent only a moment apart,
But every second that our spirits do not touch
Is an eternity of sorrow I cannot bear,
Like everything that is good in me
Has been sucked into darkness, vanished from existence,
And I must trudge through this world without you:
Broken, powerless,
A vestige of my true self.

This is what my nature has become—
Nay, what it was always meant to be,
For I was nothing without your light,
And in its absence I am lesser still;
But in your company I find more than words can define.
You are everything that makes me worth anything,
The source of my strength,
And the catalyst of my courage.
Together we are better than anything in this world.

So please, dear Raava, do not let them take you from me
And pull our souls apart,
Because alone I am too weak to hold onto you;
But if your ethereal spirit touches mine,
Then when you are depleted and impuissant
I will be your ten thousand strong,
To shield you from the despair of the world,
To carry you to safety,
And bring you back home.