From the High Rise Where I Will Commit Suicide


Everything looks so meager down below,
As miniscule as the stars overhead,
Each dot an entire person,
An entire world upon which everything else revolves,
Unmoving by other worlds amassing their own gravitational pulls,
Each one self-contained, suffering its own entropy.
Yes, these people are dying stars,
Once so bright, but fading out quickly,
Sliding toward oblivion, taking entire worlds with them.
It evokes the age-old question, “Why do we bother?”
I thought the city would provide comfort,
Some transient camaraderie or psychological affluence,
But just like the crimson damsel who exiled me here,
This parochial prison only entreats solitude
And a growing reclusion atop my perch,
Where I examine countless people—
And admit with no alacrity or pleasure
That mine is a barren solar system,
No worlds or lives revolving around whatever light I exude,
Deriving no subsidy from my warmth,
Unfazed by the lure of my gravitational pull.
So like that rare star, I serve only to observe from a distance,
Perhaps that someone may achieve data from my death—
Inescapably brighter and more bombastic than my life.
If supernova is truly all I have to look forward to,
Allow me to hasten its arrival, so that someone may learn from its occurrence
Without learning anything of the star itself.




This is the landscape of my soul,
Reaped of the famine that would set in motion the apocalypse.
The stars have waged war with the sky,
And where you see salvation and safeguard—
Perspective derived from the dilution of your spirituality—
I see the beginning of the end,
Because I am fallen, a demon,
And in this state my soul is trapped in
There is no perception of hope or rescue.
We are all doomed,
Because you and I were the link to life,
And with our chain severed,
This earth is condemned to perish;
And we, its saviors, our responsible for its destruction.
So the world can behold our savagery
As the slaughterers of seven billion,
And our hatred—
Bred from the love we possessed and tarnished—
Has rendered us Thanatos
To exist forever in this penitent Tartarus.