Rage and Penance

Shadow lights

I am not ashamed to admit I love you,
That every action was to impress you,
Make you look at me differently,
Dote upon me your affections;
And the truth is—
Regardless of what the prevaricators say—
That I worshiped you unconditionally.
It took one mistake,
One fleeting moment of self-centeredness,
For you to turn your back on me,
To cast me from your presence,
Your life,
Your home,
Exiling me to the cold and dark
Crevices of the universe,
Where you made sure I would bear witness
To all the love you had for me
That now you give to others;
Yet somehow it is I who is profaned!
I have been slandered and demonized
As I am forced to watch you cavort
With those you cherish so much,
Who wound you every day of your existence.
I am not the monster here;
Can you blame me for the acrimony?
You have stolen everything from me
For all my days over a singular mistake,
While your despicable new favorites
Are granted clemency for each of theirs.
Is it a wonder I’m so hateful,
That I lash out
And seek to prove how much better I am
Than your pathetic pets?
By now you have made it clear
That you would do nothing with my devotion
But conflagrate it with your wrath—
Your ungodly rage and penance—
So how dare you accuse me
Of any wrongdoing or evil?
You, who has the adoration of the world
And could never possibly fathom
The sensation of being denied your attention.
It is not out of hatred I do these things,
But out of unrequited love;
And after this wicked eternity,
The fault is no longer with me,
But you alone.

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  1. A Discussion of “Rage and Penance” | A Friend is a Hard Thing to Come By

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