Death by Paper Airplane

Paper airplane words

I’m lying on the floor
Waiting for a goddamned text,
But the phone is silent—
The only sound the hum of the laptop
And my own stilted breathing.
I’m waiting for an indication
That I’m not alone in this struggle,
That there is someone out there
Who cares, who feels this pain
Simply because it’s infected my heart,
But the phone is silent.
I think of reaching out,
Being proactive for once,
But crippling trepidation stills my hand
And my mind collapses in on itself,
Pressured by the weight of insecurity
And one stupid word that derails my train of thought.
The cacophony in my head is stifling,
Unbearable,
But the phone is silent.
I don’t even know which is worse anymore:
The loneliness or the total lack of productivity,
Because this imbalance is repressive,
Halting any motivation to stand up or even breathe;
And then the panic sets in:
Knowing I am wasting the hours by lying here,
Accomplishing nothing, becoming nothing,
And again I try to reach out
But I’m paralyzed by the fear of your disapproval.
The clock speeds by like a freight train,
But the phone is silent.

You’ve given up on me, haven’t you?

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1 Comment

  1. Yes đŸ˜‚ Otherwise the phone would not be silent. Been there myself. It’s enough to turn one into a stalker. But rather just move on.

    Reply

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