My Shallow Envy

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Is it okay if I kill myself now?
Because I’m never going to see anything as iridescent as your spirit,
Transcending every perception I had about beauty;
But you’re only drifting further from me,
And I’m too selfish and immature to admit
That you’re entering realms far beyond anything I can offer.
There’s no excuse for my prepubescent connotations
And misguided fantasies,
Yet there is neither an escape from this expectation or my acrimony,
Or even my shallow envy
That you have attained what I could never even conceive.
I don’t expect you to understand;
I don’t expect you to sympathize.
I don’t expect anything.
I just want it to end.

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