Desperatus

Quiet Desperation by Jadeedge

Art by jadeedge. Definitely not mine.

Some days I vie for your attention,
Wondering in angst and earnest
If my anecdotes amuse your whimsy;
Aching to stand in your spotlight,
Suffocating if you glimpse away.

Every now and then I wonder what you’re thinking.
Is your concentration as polluted by me
As mine is by you?
Do you like awake at night
And wonder if the hopelessness crushing your ambition
Would abate in the warmth of my embrace?

Oftentimes I turn to you,
Hoping in vain you’ll detect the plea in my eyes,
Praying to a God I don’t know
That my silence will reach your ears,
And you’ll sweep me into your arms,
Whisking me into a vivacious fantasy.

On occasion I ruminate on the possibilities—
The “could be’s” and the “maybes”—
Only to arrive at the same despondent conclusion:
These are farcical hypotheticals,
Products of a deranged mind,
And desperate for a happy ending.

Some days I’m victim to all these afflictions,
But most days I just yearn to disappear from your world,
As a snake in the sand,
And fade into memory forevermore.

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