Hypnic Jerk

Distress

Fear laces my heart,
Pumping faster now—
Faster, faster!
This is insanity;
My mind’s an absurdity.
Of all that death’s threatened in this episodic nightmare,
Lucidity may be the first to fall from the periphery.

Scratching these memories from the surface of consciousness
Only to have the remnants vacillate into my stream of thought,
I urge myself deeper into this tunnel without an end:
No light, no conclusion, to bring clarity to the terror.

I’m running, running,
Trying to escape this pageant of torture,
But the path before me is a circle,
And I end up where I started:
A ring of horror looping immemorial.

What started as determined resolve
Has relapsed into an ill-conceived outreach for acceptance:
An Everest that cannot be climbed,
A marathon that has no finish line.

When at last this half-existence throttles,
Bringing the night’s pallid wonder to the precipice of reality—
The one I am forced to face—
I will have none other than myself to blame;
And blaming me: the rest of the world, my antagonist.

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