Hypnic Jerk

Distress

Fear laces my heart,
Pumping faster now—
Faster, faster!
This is insanity;
My mind’s an absurdity.
Of all that death’s threatened in this episodic nightmare,
Lucidity may be the first to fall from the periphery.

Scratching these memories from the surface of consciousness
Only to have the remnants vacillate into my stream of thought,
I urge myself deeper into this tunnel without an end:
No light, no conclusion, to bring clarity to the terror.

I’m running, running,
Trying to escape this pageant of torture,
But the path before me is a circle,
And I end up where I started:
A ring of horror looping immemorial.

What started as determined resolve
Has relapsed into an ill-conceived outreach for acceptance:
An Everest that cannot be climbed,
A marathon that has no finish line.

When at last this half-existence throttles,
Bringing the night’s pallid wonder to the precipice of reality—
The one I am forced to face—
I will have none other than myself to blame;
And blaming me: the rest of the world, my antagonist.

Arctic Abyss

Endless abyss—
Drifting alone, thoughtless and void.
No air here, just the dark,
Smothered by the tangible,
Encumbered via nature.

A plea goes unheard in this oblivion.
No sound escapes, no cries are made;
Just a form sifting and sinking,
Blind to the world,
Useless to the machinations of the everyday,
Sacrificed to death itself
And soon to be forgotten—
Naught but a form resting in the depths,
No different from you or me.

Social Media Activism: An Epidemic

The world is moving. Communication is stronger than ever, with smartphones, social media, and the Internet. It’s a wonderful thing, to be sure, but as always, with the good comes the bad. Many would say wasting time on the Internet surfing Youtube for funny trending videos and clicking through countless hysterical memes are a waste of time and technology. After all, we should use technology for the greater good of mankind, right?

These are the same people whose Facebook timelines are cluttered with posts supporting every little environmental, political, and animal rights cause (to name a few) they come across.

These are the people who I refuse to allow to pollute my newsfeed.

Now, before you call me a bitter sociopath—even if I am one—I’m not saying I’m against people supporting good causes. I love seeing my friends dedicating time and (virtual) space to the things they are passionate about. I just also know some of my friends well enough to look at something they’ve posted and think, “Who are you trying to kid?”

Anyone else already sick of seeing this as everyone’s profile picture?

The foremost problem, in my mind, of supporting too many causes on social media is the lack of doing anything else about it. So, you want better treatment for animals on farms? Let’s just post this informative video up showing the horrific conditions farm animals are subjected to. After that: McDonald’s!

If you feel strongly enough about something to share it with everyone you know (and probably hundreds you’ve never met), make sure you’re not stopping at useless Facebook posts. Remember Kony 2012? How many people posted about it? How many did anything beyond infecting Facebook like a plague with impotent posts? For probably 99% of those, the answer is, “Nothing,” and the entire campaign was dead as quick as it started.

One thing we can all agree on? This was the most ineffective Internet campaign ever…even if it was well-intentioned.

Another problem is that posting for every little cause results in the most ridiculous posts ever. The other day one of my friends on Facebook shared a post of a picture that said something along the lines of, “I’m against child abuse. Repost if you are.” Dude, EVERYONE’S against child abuse! That’s like saying, “Share if you live on planet Earth.” What’s the point? It’s just pointless noise on the Internet; it’s not comical, informative, or unique, and it makes absolutely no difference to anything in the world. Period.

So that I don’t end this alienating the masses with my cynicism, I will say that if there’s a cause you are passionate about, post all you want—just don’t stop there. Donate money or time, and if you have neither, at least encourage others to do what they can, and maybe pray (if you do that; if not, send out happy thoughts?). And for goodness sake, realize you don’t have time to support every little cause out there. Devote your energy toward a handful of causes you can give a lot for rather than innocuous posts about every little cause you come across. Except PETA. Never, ever support PETA.

Money Eyes

Peer at me with money eyes.
Camaraderie is a convincing disguise,
But the underscoring truth belies
The intentions of your grotesque reprise.

Would a little sincerity kill you, darling?
Humor me until I bend or break;
Whittle away at me with affection,
And spear my heart with your insufferable gaze.
Feel my legs quiver, enfeebled
Against the strength of your weakness.
Speak the pleas I yearn to hear;
Now watch as I collapse and cave.

Have you gotten all you wished for?
Will my existence earn a passing thought
In days to come, when I’m long gone?
Will I have served my purpose to you,
Offering all value that can be measured?
Will you have satiated your demented version of friendship?
Or will you stare into the mirror reflecting the past,
Conscious of the wretch you are?

Innocence Perish

Awakened to this horror story:
A tragedy only conceivable in my nightmares.
Gripping at nothing for a hold on sanity,
Because nothing is all I’m left with.

My jowls break from these wails of agony;
I cry drops of blood into a basin of sorrow,
Reflecting this shell, void of life.

This death sentence I’m now consigned to
Ruptures the mountain of peace I once stood upon.
I fall into the darkest abyss, supplicating to a deaf God,
Wondering if the fall will ever end.

Your consolations are mockeries,
For this wound can never mend—
You can never understand.
For as naïve as you are, can you not realize,
Nothing else matters anymore?